


More Than A Servant

by Fandora, whenxkilled027



Series: More Than a Servant [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Love, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:37:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandora/pseuds/Fandora, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenxkilled027/pseuds/whenxkilled027
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello Loves! </p><p>So I issued a challenge to Fandora a few days ago to help break up the sudden dump I was entering with Through the Looking Glass/Tabby and Cullen. I love my favorite couple, but I need another outlet so! The challenge is to pick one DA Character and one Premade OC character. These will be either AU modern tales (our world) or the normal DA universe. We can only have one chapter BUT it can be as long as we like. Other then that it is whatever we wish. The stories will be a mix of love and Smut or friendship or whatever we see fit... though smut will be a normal occurrence. :P</p><p>This one you are about to read is the one that started the idea. This one has been through a few transformations, but im proud of this final one and I who all enjoy the craziness that is about to come. Fandora and I are really excited. This is a challenge for both of us. If you all have requests, please message us! We welcome them with open arms. </p><p><3!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alistair/ Laura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written by whenxkilled027
> 
> Characters (Alistair/Laura)
> 
> Laura was only meant to serve and protect. The King needed that and a swift kick in the arse, but things change, people change and for the first time in her life she was willing to do anything for that crazy cheese loving dummy. 
> 
> This is the tale of a servant, bodyguard falling for her charge.

Alistair was King and had been for quite a few years at this point. She was his servant - well, the one he used when coming to Skyhold. Laura had been only thirteen during The Fifth Blight and was a young woman when Kirkwall went to the hell in a handbasket. She joined Inquisition at the request of Josephine and Leliana, to help “manage” the servants. She wasn’t one herself, but she was good with people and after all the years she’d spent as a bard and later rouge for hire, blending into the unknown wasn’t much of a stretch.  
Leliana, of course, knew the King personally and also knew Laura. She positive Laura wouldn’t let him get away with anything ridiculous while at Skyhold. The man was known for his shenanigans when with the Hero of Ferelden, The pranks they pulled renowned by all that were with them. Morrigan had been quite vocal about it all when he had visited during her stay. Oil and water those two. Bickering like brother and sister. It was hysterical really. Laura finding herself laughing quietly to herself more than once. 

That didn’t happen right off the bat though. In fact it wasn’t till after a month into his visit that she and the King seemed to find an odd friendship in one another. They nipped and squabbled like an old couple, pushing each other’s buttons every chance they could get.  
***  


_“Where is it?” He tossed papers and books of the ornate desk in his rooms. Laura watched in half interest while changing his bedding._  


_“Where is what?”_  


_“The plate of cheeses I had brought back from the kitchens. I left it here before my meetings.”_  


_“You mean that plate of moldy lumps of what used to be cheese? I tossed it out.”_  


_“What?! why? I had been thinking about it for hours. Looking forward to it since this morning when I woke.”_  


_Exasperated she turned to him, one hand on her hip. “Alistair that cheese has been their since yesterday morning. I only noticed it today as I was cleaning. Honestly, im surprised you didn’t smell it.”_  


_“I would have still eaten it. You should have left it.”_  


_“Ew! You would- for the love of the Marker. You can not eat moldy cheese Alistair.” she watched him pout in his chair. The papers and books he’d pushed around where now all over the floor._  


_Crossing her arms over her chest she stair between him and the mess. “I really hope you don’t expect me to clean up that mess.”_  


_With all the seriousness of the wind, “Isn’t that the point of your job?”_  


_Jaw to the floor, red hot anger rose from the tips of her toes to the edge of her hairline. It would have bubbled over had he not burst into fits of uncontrolled laughter. It took her all of second to realize he’d been playing with her the whole time. “You- I can’t- ugh- you, I can’t even form a proper thought you royal pain in the arse.”_  


***  
That had thrown Alistair into an added fit, even after she’d hit him with one his bed pillows, repeatedly. She treated him like everyone else. Yes, he was King, but he was also simply Ali. No matter what. 

“Laura, I need a favor.”  


Eyes the color of grass in early spring lift from the leather bound book, her legs curled under her while she sketched from the other side of the room. It had been a few months since the rift in the sky had been closed. Alistair and the Inquisitor were in talks as to best help stabilize Ferelden together. Many of his advisor warned this would make him look weak. Alistair of course didn’t listen. Malcolm Trevelyan was a good friend and a good man. He had pushed for friendship from the start of all this chaos and while Alistair had been pushed into a difficult place with the Mages. He was grateful to be invited to Skyhold later. She of course didn’t learn any of this until after they had… well started having fun. Of course they never went too far. She was still a virgin promising to only give herself to the man she would love and marry. Alistair was of course happy with what they did. There was also another small problem. She was in love with the idiot of course, but she was a servant in the eyes of everyone. Far below the reach of someone like a King. Yet, the spark of friendship had changed them and the truth behind her role as his servant made clear. She was always meant to protect him. Whether he knew it or not, she was the barrier between him and death while within Skyhold walls. He of course didn’t know until the day the reaper came calling her name.  


***  


_It was a horribly bitter cold night. A storm prolonging Alistair stay a few more days. They had fought bitterly the night before and hadn’t spoke more than a handful of words. Most being orders to do this or that. Small tasks that he knew drove her insane. Currently he was in the bath. She was turning down his sheets when she heard it. The faint hint of a step so light it would have been missed had the room not been so quiet. Grumbling something softly she pretends to not have heard the step or the click of a the handle of dagger pulled from its holster._  


_The next few moments happen so fast she almost couldn’t believe it. As every worst case scenario filtered through her head. Alistair opened the door to the washroom, rubbing the towel on his head, white linen sleep pants hanging low. Chest in full view. The intruder sprang forth from a shadow nearby dagger in hand and aimed squarely for Alistair's heart. Moving without thought, she placed her body in the middle of the blade and its target. Buried hilt deep in her chest, she kicked the shocked assassin, pulled out her own weapon and slit the offenders throat in just three movements. The bastard had a tight grip on the dagger though and yanked it out. Blood began to pouring out of the wound. A cluster of colorful curses as tries to stop the bleeding. Knees crumpling she felt herself hit hard flesh.  
_

_“Laura!”  
_

_Warm arms helped to lower her to the ground. Taking short sharp breaths, she smiled up at him.  
_

_“Not how I wanted you to find out about this. Had hoped to tell you before I left.”  
_

_"What? Idiot stop talking. GUARDS!” he pressed the towel he’d been using against her wound. Forcing her to grind her teeth against the shock of pain curling around her nervous system.  
_

_“It’s too deep Alistair.”  
_

_“Shut up.” he turned to yell at the door. “GUARDS! Damn it someone help!”  
_

_“Ali, please. Listen.”  
_

_“No, just shut up and don’t move.” he pressed down harder making her cry out. The pinch in his brow telling her he was trying to think. He had training from the Wardens on how to take care of wounded, but there wasn't time. Blood coated their hands and the towel was nearly soaked. She covered the hand pressing down squeezing those beautiful fingers that have made love to her body.  
_

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide… not after. I wanted to tell you everything. Forgive me?”  
_

_“Markers Breath woman you suck at listening. I said no talking.” She coughed and a copper taste bubbled up her throat to coat her tongue and drip out the corner of her mouth. She was defiantly losing too much… could feel things going a little numb. Her eyes flutter suddenly heavy. She was tired.. Really tired.  
_

_“No, hey! Do not close your eyes. That’s an order from your King damn it… Laura?” Normally she would have kept them closed to annoy him, but this time she just couldn’t muster the energy to follow that order. something splashed against her face pressure on her forehead, words she couldn't make out being muffled. She wanted to tell him, whisper the words she's hidden inside, but everything muffled and then only silence._

  
***  


Clearly she'd survived, but not without serious injury to both of them. Her physically and Alistair… Well emotionally he's always been a little odd. It had taken three weeks to recover from the attack even with magical help. Another to convince her idiot king she was fine, another after that to make him understand that yes she was his “bodyguard” in Skyhold and that, yes she had lied to protect him and that, no she never thought they would be lovers. Alistair had started out as an assignment. He was her charge. Stay close but not too close. Obviously that hadn't gone to plan, but then she hadn't expected for him to be...well, to be just Alistair. A kind, goofy, innocent man that wanted nothing more than to help people and eat cheese while doing it. She honestly told him that in the course time they had been together she'd broken over twelve different rules, that as a guard of any kind you are supposed to follow. The top being to never fall for your charge. 

Now ten weeks later and the man was finally allowing her breath a little. He'd remind in Skyhold well past his time to return home clinging to her side like a nug to shit. It was sweet and annoying and she was the worst person to take care of. All of her life she'd done it on her own. Now here was this man fawning over her, treating her like the most precious thing in the world. Yes, he could be ridiculously aggravating, but he was scared by that night. She heard him in his sleep, begging to her not to die too. Not to leave him alone. It killed her and it was the reason she allowed him to dote and worry.  


Brushing back copper colored hair from her shoulder she returns to her work, that smirk turning into a small smile. “That tone almost makes me want to say no, Alistair. But for the sake of hearing you out, and getting a good chuckle out of it, ask away.” She said, thin mocha hands stained by charcoal gliding across the page. Drawing was a personal hobby. The only way to relax for her. Alistair, she'd learned, spoke with Solas on what kind of sketch book to buy her and what tools would be best for it. She avoided asking how much the leather bound book with gold and green filigree had cost, knowing she'd just get upset. She wasn't one to take gifts like this but he gave her those puppy dog eyes when she'd frowned which resulted in her caving. Accepting the gift with a kiss. 

Head down she didn’t need to look up to know he’d just coughed into his hand. The rubbing of the wooden chair on stone signal him rising.  


“Right, well, I- as you know, Maker… I need an heir.” Her hand paused, he started to pace. “We both know that with all the blighted letters and visits from potentials and no matter how pushy my advisors are with picking someone for me to marry I still haven’t chosen.” He looked to her, a fire lighting behind those hazel eyes and creating a slow burn in her belly. It traveled down settling between her legs. “For obvious reasons, of course, but I have others.”  


“Of course.” she muttered trying desperately not to laugh at how adorable he was when he stuttered. Laura was also trying in vain not to press her legs together. They hadn't touched each other in weeks. He'd been too afraid to even though she'd been fine and healed. 

“One,” he kept going, ignoring her interruption, “is because every woman they bring me is beyond boring or too power hungry. Two, I can’t stand most after five minutes, and three - I don’t want a marriage out of need for power, I want more.”

Laura stopped midway through his rant, watching him, really watching him. His face was red and he was fidgeting more, like when he tries to apologize after being a raging ass or when he knows he’s done something that will make her very angry. He still stood behind the desk, not moving an inch closer. Hands were held behind his back forcing him to stand straighter chest out. Alistair chewed on his lower lip. 

Then it hit her.

“Alistair,” she tried not laugh, but a smile broke through as she said his name slowly, “Are you asking me to have your baby?”

“I- well, when you- yes.” He moved then, coming to kneel before her chair. Laura’s eyes widened, watching him for any sign that this was one of his jokes. A flutter of emotion she normally kept stamped down when around him came to life. Flaring up in such a way that she could feel a flush building on her cheeks. Swallowing it down, she closed her book, pulling it to her chest pretending it was barrier between them. Protection against the possible cruel joke. Which she swore, if it was, she would kill him.  


“Ali.”  


“Please just, hear me out. After everything that happened, you getting hurt… then with Hawke and the court… For all intents and purposes you are a noble. Just having the Hawke name gives you it, and it gives me the loophole I've been dying to find since we met.”  


Head light and heart pounding, she didn’t know what to do or say. Yes, she was a Hawke. No one knew, she'd hidden the fact from everyone. Including her beloved cousin who was the vicount of Kirkwall and Champion. It had been a shock to see her in Skyhold and with Fenris her husband. The woman was forever busy. Laura's father had moved them away two years before the blight. The drama of it forcing the children to say goodbye.  


Alistair gently placed a hand on her knee jerking her back from Old memories. “Laura?”  


“Al… I- you’re not joking around, are you?”  


“I wouldn’t joke about something like this. I’ve wanted you since the first night we met, but you have some very powerful friends that assured me if I touched you and broke your heart, King or not they would fry my ass.”  


She chuckled. Leliana had to been said friend along with Dorian. The Mage was rather protective after she'd told a rather prestigious noble to shove his comments on Tevinter and mages where the sun didn't shine. And if couldn't find it she would be happy too. The inquisitor had to smooth it all over but was proud of her for sticking up for a friend. 

Brushing the tips of her fingers along his jaw she thought about his request. Pulse racing Laura she bit her lip.  


“Ali, you’re saying a lot, but not asking what you want.” He had to say it for her to believe him. She needed him to tell her that the love she kept hidden wasn’t one sided.  


Those amazing hazel eyes crinkled at their edges. Alistair held his hands out palms up, waiting. Slowly she moved to place her sketchbook down, then take his hands. that goofy smile he always wore widening.  


“Laura Hawke, what I am asking is for you to marry me, be my wife, my queen and my best friend for all the time that we have in this world. I want you to be the mother to my children and my lover.”  


A nervous giggle bubbled up, escaping before she could stop it. Carefully Laura unfolded her legs, the skirt of her simple reddish brown dress dusting behind her as she leaned down. Circling her arms around his neck, she pulled him close, her forehead resting against his.  


“Did you know that the day we met I wanted to stab you for being an ass.”  


“You know you're not the first rouge to tell me that. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me.” Alistair tightened his hold around her. “So, what will your answer be?”  


Laura leaned in close, her lips ghosting over his, their eyes gazing into one another's. She wanted to torture him a little, but could see the nerves building the longer she waited. Smiling, with tears clouding her vision, she nodded.  


“Yes, of course you silly man.”  
****  
What happened next was a bit of a blur. Laura wasn't certain about how they ended up with her legs wrapped around his waist and standing, but she didn’t care as his lips claimed her heatedly. Small moans vibrated in her throat the feel of their bodies pressed so hard together that she was sure he was trying to melt them into one. Maker she'd missed this, needed to feel more. 

Clothes went flying everywhere, the tearing of fabric echoing around the room. Carefully Alistair laid her down on the bear skin rug before the fire, his lips traveling behind his hands. Laura’s head spun the only ability left to her allowing to simply feel. 

“Ali…” she moaned his lips moving to her breast. He attacked them like a starving man. She had to slow him down a little. The pressure building between her legs was so quick it was almost frightening.

His cock settled at her opening, both panting, she knew this was the only chance she’d have. She pulled his face away from her chest. 

“Ali, wait.” 

“Love, I have waited months for this moment, please I’m dying here.”

She couldn’t help laughing brushing her thumb over his full lower lip. He groaned his hips moving involuntarily, pushing just his head into her. Both groaning they each take a moment to breath.

“I’ve never done this before.” she panted.

It took a good minute, but felt his body tense before his eyes lifted to hers. 

“Never?”

“Never. I may be a former bard but I never used my body like that. I also promised my father and mother I would wait. Wait until I was sure. Until I found the one. After they died I could have just ignored my promise. Maker knows there were more than a few missions where I could have gotten them done easier. Honestly though, I never felt a need to be with anyone. No one caught my eye. Until you that is.”

He trembled above her his eyes softened and the death grip his hands had on her waist loosened before they slide up, one of his thumbs brushing the top of her cheek. 

“Do you want to stop?”

Her hands pulled down his face, lips meeting with hunger, but not ravaging each other. 

“No,” she said once pulling back. Her legs circled his waist slowly guiding him into her body, “I just wanted you to slow down... Oh Maker, Ali…”

“Laura I won't be able to stop, and I don’t think I can be gentle or last long - ugh - god you’re so tight. Love this will hurt. I’m sorry.”

“I love you Alistair.”

The pain was sharp, Alistair caught her hiss with his lips, he held himself still giving her a moment to relax. His hands moved her breasts pulling and sending shivers throughout her smaller frame. When he finally began to move Laura felt everything heat up and pressure build low in her body. Their moans echoed off the walls as his thrusts picked up pace. His mouth went work on her neck and shoulder, Laura trembled. It was too much she felt on fire and electric all at once. 

“Ali- oh Maker…” she snaked her fingers through this blond hair, moving in time with his thrusts, but she needed more. “ Alistair, please, ah- harder.” 

She heard him growl. His hands clamped down on her hips, pinning them just before he slammed repeatedly into her. That was all it took, her back arched off the floor his name screamed from her lips. Nails scratching red marks down his arms as he pounded his way to completion. 

Alistair collapsed. His arms the only thing keeping him from crushing her with his weight. It took them a long time to calm their breathing, she nuzzled his temple with her nose her hands running softly up and down his sides. 

She felt his smile against her shoulder. 

“I wouldn’t do that love. While I am King, I am also still a Warden and our stamina is very well known.” Gasping she felt him hardening again inside of her. Laura groaned rocking her hips against his. Her body craving more from him. 

“Is this what I get to look forward too for the rest on our lives, amazing sex and a hot husband?”

“Yup.” he said with a small pop at the end. “Though we may need to find a room with no windows and thicker walls.”

“Why do you say that?”

A very male smile curved that beautiful mouth. He tilted his head up a bit. “Listen.” 

She waited for only a second before she heard the whistling and cat calls coming from the courtyard below. The distinctive rumblings laugh of the iron bull bellowing over them all. For the first time in her life she wished like hell she a Mage. She'd shock the shit out of them all. Covering her face she was about to groan, but a moan from deep in her chest broke free. 

Gasping she stares up into his eyes. A wicked grin being her only gift before rolling them and seating her above him. 

“If they want a show, let's give them one. Ride me and scream out again,” he thrust up, “and again. I want to hear it all.” 

“Yes…” 

***  
Laura was a little intimidated by being on top but her body moved before she could think to much. Hips rolling and bouncing up and down. Alistair watched her through hooded blown out passion filled eyes. Laura didn't hold back, moaning and begging until bursts of white lined her vision as she came, shouting out his name.

It went on like that for hours, closing the window after finding the energy to move of course. Laura learned Alistair's body in ways she hadn't before. Little things that would roll his eyes back in his head while moaning. Praising her, repeatedly. It was fabulous and she wanted to do it again and again, but she was done. Body thoroughly loved, over sensitive and demanding rest. 

Curled into his side, Laura was almost to the fade when she heard him mumble and kissing the fingers on her left hand. It took a moment or four before she realized a weight had settled into her left hand. Opening her eyes she looked down. Her hand was over his heart and covered by his own. His breathing had slowed. He was asleep and had it not been for the shimmery gem adorn her ring finger she would be too. Only the ring had registered and blood was now pumping far quicker. 

Red and white stones circled themselves into the shape of two intertwining roses. The band the stem for one. Flexing her fingers, moonlight bouncing around the room casting the most beautiful glow. The slow curve of her lips formed into a content smile. 

He loved her… He wanted her and Maker she wanted everything he'd asked for. For the first time in her life. Laura was truly and irrevocably happy and madly in love with this man. 

Tightening her hold on him, kissed his chest knowing that while he may be a king, she was more than just a servant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've already pick the next DA character and mine will be....  
> .....  
> .....  
> .....  
> .....  
> .....  
> Everyone's favorite Broody Elf :D


	2. Cullen and Zane (AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this started out as a project between WhenXKilled027 and me, just to give us a break from “through the looking glass” Don't worry we will get back to it. Anyhow, it was supposed to be a simple task of draw two names and write about them, one a hero of DA and one an OC either in AU or normal …. Then WhenXKilled027 had a dream, and we fell in love with characters than the characters felt all froggy and started talking out of turn. Basically, the whole thing got derailed my simple outline went to shit, characters ran off falling in love on their own, doing other things I hadn't planned on and none of them asked me so in the end I said screw it, You all are going to do what you want anyhow just tell me what to type. So now your 12-page one-shot, is like 30 pages. However, I hope you love them as much as we did creating them for you. *giggle* Sorry / not sorry Just as a reference my task was to Ship Cullen (AU) and Zane. I refuse to change an already developed characters sexuality just because it works in my story Life doesn't work that way so. As in life, there are many different ships here is one. 
> 
> ~Fandora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is Implied M/M (although it's not Cullen) and F/M (that one is Cullen)

The one thing about jail, it gave a man ample time and opportunity to think, sometimes too much time, dwelling on stuff, like where his life went wrong. 

 

For one thing, your hindsight vision becomes 20/20 really fast. In Zane Clifton’s case, he could pinpoint a series of events, that were only compounded by even more stupid choices. 

 

He was mister all American in high school mediocre student but, top athlete, joining the Army at 18, on the advice of his father. His daddy always said the only way to tame a lion was to teach him to march, he rose through the ranks was decorated, hell his small hometown even held a parade for him one summer. 

His momma taught him to be respectful and a gentleman, and for the most part in his young life he did her proud. When he was hand chosen by his CO to try out for the Rangers he thought his father's chest would burst with pride. However, that feeling would quickly change after a tearful exchange in his parents kitchen, the night before he left for his first deployment to places he couldn't talk about. 

 

He told his parents he was gay, his mother cried his father never spoke to him again, well that wasn't completely true, the man said words but they were so hateful and filled with venom that in the dark of his cell they could make his stomach turn.

 

The military didn't welcome gay men back then, so his secret was never spoken of again, he even forced himself to date the occasional woman. They all marveled at how well he treated them but left when it never progressed passed holding hands in public. 

 

On one tour was it 3 of 5 he had spent so much time on foreign soil they all tended to blend together, but really what did he have to come home too? Whichever tour it was on leave all the guys cajoled him into coming saying he needed to blow off some steam, trying to be a good sport he went with them to a Brothel… The name escaped him at the moment, a flowery one that really didn't fit the establishment, The Blooming Rose! That’s what it was, god what a crap hole. 

 

He paid for his “date” closing the door behind the girl he rented for the night, once he explained his situation he tipped her very well, the two of them ended up watching HBO movies eating cookies, she gave him a haircut and shave.

 

He ended up making a friend visiting her once month, she called it her night off, took care of him, however, he would let her. That’s when he started wearing his buzzed hair in a type of faux hawk buzzed on the side a little longer down the middle but still military spec. To look at him you wouldn't assume gay man, but then really what does gay “look like” 

 

He had met the love of his life ironically in the special forces, on his second last tour. The man was the team's Medic he was funny, charming sexy as hell, an amazing lover and reliving every stolen moment they had for those two years had helped Zane keep his sanity in here. Their Team called him Doc but Zane, Zane called him Anders, or Love in private. 

 

Rubbing his hand over his chest, even this many years later, the loss still hurts like it happened yesterday 

 

The air was filled with acrid smoke mortar shells were pounding the surrounding ground around them both incoming and outgoing, they were trapped, their mission had been an extraction of diplomats. It was supposed to be silent and slick. They had sent the intel to the group and tried to make them leave a week earlier but, they knew better than a bunch of dumb soldiers, The Irony that it was those dumb soldiers who were going to save their asses if they could, wasn't lost on his Team. 

 

How that clutch of paper pusher found a damn assault rifle he would never know, but they might as well have invited the insurgents to tea. That's when the sky started falling, tears streaking down his face as he clung to Anders’ broken lifeless body. 

 

The last thing he remembered as the searing pain ripped through his leg was Major Trevelyan’s voice in his ear “I’m coming for you Brother, you're going to be OK.” 

 

When he woke up, broken and alone in that VA hospital, that… that right there was the start of his spiral. 

 

Major Trevelyan visited him every day, they played chess. Made small talk, even when Zane tried to push the man away, the stubborn bastard still came back every time. Max offered him a home at his ranch, Max spent hours telling him how he was working with his sister and brother-in-law turning his parents ranch in the foothills of the Colorado Rockies into a kind of sanctuary and rehabilitation center for animals and people. 

 

Zane teased him about turning soft on him, even the name sounded like a fantasy from some damn video game or something, Skyhold it sounded like it should house a dragon or two.

 

Max offered him a position, but Zane didn't want the charity, he would be just fine. Max did manage to convince him that Colorado was as good of place as any to start his new life.

 

Draping his arm over his eyes, he snorted looking back on it now, be just fine my ass he muttered to the gray concrete walls. 

 

Zane might have been OK if his leg didn't ache like a son of a bitch, all the fucking time, and he might have been OK if he didn't get addicted to the pain pills. Maybe, if he hadn't discovered that if he mixed the pain pills and alcohol, he could stop the dreams. If he stopped the dreams he didn’t wake up screaming in the night drenched in sweat, every damn time it was like losing Anders over again. 

 

Max tried to help him, he made the offer over and over but he wouldn't have a junkie on his ranch, the catch was clean and sober. One night it came to blows, Max was tired of watching someone he loved and respected as a brother destroy himself. Max’s final words as he closed the door both men sporting split lips “I can’t help you if you won't let me. But I will never turn my back on you brother, call me when you're ready.”

 

Zane in his altered state screamed some obscenities at him about guilt for the cripple, “You can't always be the hero saving all the strays Trevelyan.” the sound of his cane slamming against the door as he threw it.

 

The thought he had had a thousand times in these four gray walls ran through his head for the 1001 time, If he had just stayed home, but no he went to a local bar and got drunk. He couldn't tell you exactly how it happened it started off when Zane heard some redneck spew homophobic bullshit at a young couple, it ended with Zane confronting the man, after that it gets hazy. 

 

All he remembered after that was swinging, even after the other guy stopped moving he kept swinging, every loss, every dream, every ache he had, he beat into the other man. 

 

In the state of Colorado when you are specially trained in hand to hand combat by the military, and you don't control your actions in a fight even sometimes in self-defence. It's considered assault with a deadly weapon. 

Making his poor choice in anger management a class three felony, that can carry a sentence of no less than 4 but a maximum of 12 years. He found out later that the man he had beaten was in a nursing home with an acute brain injury and he was pretty much gone his body just hadn't gotten the notice. The judge took all that into consideration and after 8 years 7 months and 23 days, Tomorrow Zane would be free. Leaning over the sink he washed his face, the chocolate brown eyes stared back at him, he still kept his hair buzzed on the side but the strip running down the center was a little longer he even had some curls that fell against his forehead. Inspecting his reflection he still looked pretty damn good for being 40 he was physically strong, Tattoos covered his arms and chest. Not prison ones either, they were a collection of his time in the military, some guys collected postcards he got ink. Every exotic tour he went to the one artist that was “renown” and had them do whatever. His last couple tours he had them contacting him wanting to add to his collage. The only one he was very specific about was his entire back He spent a year with a Tebori irezumi artist having it done it was a memorial to his Doc. 

 

It had been a long battle some days he would beg to quit, but with help through therapy and meditation, talking to those who had walked his path, he was in a better place. 

 

He was also drug and alcohol-free… nothing like state run detox, at this point in his life he didn't even take aspirin. His one vice was coffee even the swill here was better than nothing, but man the day he gets out... Some men dream of a huge steak or making love to their girl after they get out. Zane, Zane would kill for a really good cup of coffee, not the fluffy mocha frappe shit, just strong black coffee.

 

Six months ago he had reached out to the man, it was the day he had gotten word of his actual release date. He sent a letter to Maxwell Trevelyan the paper only held a hand full of words but they were enough “I’m ready, my brother.” 

 

Three days later Zane was sitting in his orange jumpsuit across from the man who tried to save him. Max came once a week, visiting for an hour bringing Zane his coffee, one of the perks of being a model inmate they even allowed him to drink it on occasion. 

 

Tomorrow he would be meeting Max in a different room, one without bars on it, and together they would go home to Skyhold.

 

Standing in the small square of sunshine he got for a brief time every day, basking in the bright yellow beam, his face turned to the small window letting the light wash over him. It was a small pleasure, but in a place with so few, you cherished the ones you got. He stood there until it was gone, a small smile playing on his full lips, knowing tomorrow, tomorrow he would be a free man. 

His out processing took forever, he was sure at any moment someone was going to come in and say just kidding you have 8 more years. Finally, he was given a set of clothes, he could only assume Max had dropped off. Pulling out the simple t-shirt with the ranch insignia on it below it said Skyhold but the picture what the hell was that? It looked like an all seeing eye, set in a sun with a sword or dagger through it? Zane just shook his head and chuckled I'm going to be fighting dragons I just fucking know it. Pulling it over his head the shirt was snug across his chest but was comfortable enough he already had on his jeans and boots, grabbing his papers, banging on the door indicating he was ready. 

 

Blinking against the bright Colorado sky, he held his hand up to shield his eyes, there he was the big bastard was leaning against a pickup with the same symbol as his shirt. The sound of the gate locking behind him was a little jarring, but every step he took toward the man in front of him was more distance between his mistakes, and one more step closer to his future. 

 

It had been almost 10 years since he had hugged anyone, today he hugged the man who had saved his life more than once. The hug went on for longer than was customary, but when you're clinging to your life raft sometimes it's hard to let go, Max understood and just hugged him back. When Zane was ready, the other man handed him some sunglasses partially for the sun but mostly to help protect his dignity.

 

They rode in silence most of the way, internally Zane was marveling at how 8 years had changed the foothills, houses dotted the landscape where it had been only bush. He and Anders had talked about building a cabin in some place like this when they returned home, living outside of the chaos that was the city limits. 

His first glimpse of Skyhold it was breathtaking, the huge main house looked almost like it was perched on its own mountain with the Rockies surrounding it as a formidable backdrop. The ranch itself sprawled along with other buildings, barns and various things it looked like its own village. They had to go over a huge bridge because a river separated it from the main road.

Passing over the bridge through the giant gates Max pointed to where public parking was the main office. The gardens, the different therapy centers the vet clinic. Finally, pulling up in front of the stables Max nodded in the building's direction. "I figure this will be the place you are most home, we have currently 32 horses of varying pedigrees in residence. The ones at the front we call them our working girls, we use them for therapy and trail rides. The ones further back are rescues, we are rehabilitating hopefully they will join the others eventually if not they are safe and have a home.”

Stopping at the last stall max tilted his head to the pitiful creature in the stall “last but not least there is Maple, she's just here to be kept comfortable until she leaves this world. She's 27 normal lifespans for a horse who has been well looked after is 25-30 years, she was never well looked after.” Zane reached in clucking at Maple holding his hand out. She was tiny he couldn't imagine anyone more than a small woman or child being able to ride her, you could see the physical scars she bore, he imagined that much like him the emotional ones ran a little deeper. 

Like a pup she rested her head against his hand and rubbed, Max grinned at them “I was about to tell you, she hates everyone except my niece Alejandra so don't be put off if she stays in the back end of her stall.” 

Max reached out to pet her and she flinched back, cowering, nipping at his hand. “But you seem to be OK in her book, which is good because beyond these doors is your new home.” Unlocking the door as he spoke over his shoulder “Now you can stay here, or you can live in the main house. A man should have a choice where he hangs his hat, and brother it’s your turn.”

Nodding to the door Max urged him on “Take a look, change it if you want, or like I said there is room in the main house but I thought you might like the view in this one.”

Opening the door the whole space was turned into a studio apartment with a tiny kitchen, a huge bed, couch, TV, computer and desk, a little table and chairs. Max nodded to the door at the back “through there is your bathroom.” 

An entire wall of curtain covered the back wall from one side of the room to the other, walking over to it Max explained “when I was a teen still in high school this was my room it was great for sneaking girls in or sneaking out at night but the best part of it was this.” Grabbing one end of the curtains he walked the length of the room revealing the wall behind it was floor to ceiling window, giving them an amazing view of the river and mountains and pastures. Max’s voice was soft trapped in a memory looking at the rolling hills “When I came back, I stayed in this room for a month, my niece Ali finally broke through my walls and helped me come back from the dark places.” 

 

Shaking his head to chase the thoughts away grinning as he slapped Zane on the back  
“yea I thought you would like it, there are clothes in the closet and drawers. Payday is every Friday, you will have access to company vehicles once your license is reinstated, I hear it will take about a week. Till then I can take you wherever you need, as I'm sure you know the condition of your release states you have to have counseling well lucky for you, we have one on staff that has agreed to take you on. Dorian’s office is in the main house and he expects you tomorrow." Nodding at the tiny kitchen “I would like it if you ate in the main house more often than not, but I understand some days the world is just too loud. We are a drug and mostly alcohol-free facility, that's not to say that on occasion we don't have a beer after the doors are closed. I know you are in AA and we will do everything we can to respect that, but this is our home too.” 

Zane stood looking out the wall of window arms crossed, the sun was dancing in the field and he had the urge to run out there and dance in it. Nodding to Max “Alright, so what's my job here?” Max handed him a set of keys pointing out what each one unlocked, Zane’s eyes getting huge at the massive ring. Max laughed pointing to the lock on a door in the barn, “see that yellow dot …. The key with the yellow dot on it opens it, you will find that all over the ranch. The only place you can't get into is other people personal quarters just as they can't get in yours.” 

Without realizing he was doing it, Zane was scratching Maple behind her ears as he listened to Max lay out his daily duties. Nodding at him he clapped Zane on his shoulder “I will let you get settled in there is a book in your rooms with all the rules and different things that we do here, along with a contract for you to sign outlining your job and salary.” 

With that Max left him to get acquainted before he was fully out of the barn, he called back to Zane “oh and one more thing, Cullen our resident trail guide will be here later returning horses, he’s someone I want you to talk to. He, well he’s been in our shoes Zane, the man has done miracles working through his PTSD, I think he could help you, I know he helped me.” With that said Max left, Zane watched through the barn doors as Max headed up to the main house. 

Walking back into his room he dropped what little he brought with him on the bed and got to work. 

The sun was just kissing the tops of the Rockies casting everything thing in a deep orange glow. Zane had been humming to himself making good time cleaning out the stalls that were empty. His head snapped up startled when he heard a man's voice, he had a sexy English accent, trying to put a face to the voice he was caught off guard. 

It had been a long time since he was attracted to anyone, and the man standing there was fucking beautiful. It took Zane a moment and the appearance of bad manners to realized the blonde Adonis was talking to him, holding out his hand. Shaking himself out of his stupor he quickly pulled his work glove off and shook the man's hand. “Zane, Zane Clifton I uhh I just started today.” 

Eyes the color of molten amber assessed him, the way he carried himself told Zane he was a man use to issuing orders and having them followed without question. Those lips, Maker when his tongue ran across them all Zane could think of was following it with his own, and shoving his rough hands in the tumble of wet curls that were plastered to his head from wearing a hat. 

Dammit, he was still talking and Zane hadn't heard a word, Jesus get yourself together Clifton before you make an ass of yourself. Thankfully the man repeated it again “Cullen Rutherford, I have worked with Max for the better part of 5 years, I hear we will be working together with the horses.”

Cullen looked at him funny “you feeling OK Zane?” Shaking his head to clear the dirty thoughts he was having about this man out. “Yea, uhh I mean yes. I'm fine it’s just been a lot all at once, so ahh I guess I will see you around?” Cullen’s brow furrowed but he nodded “yes, I guess, I will see you at dinner right?” Zane was walking back to his room, for no reason other than he really just needed to escape, “Dinner, right… wouldn't miss it, important meal! I like to eat it once a day! So yea dinner.”

He slammed the door behind him and leaned against it, pretty sure the world just needed to open up and swallow him whole right now. Mocking himself in a nasally patronizing voice “Important meal I like to eat it once a day!... Holy Shit Clifton teenage girl much, God now I'm going to have to wrestle a bear or something to get my balls back.”

Walking into the main house it felt odd, but it also felt right, Looking around he was standing in what he assumed once upon a time, was a formal dining room. Now it housed two massive tables, all total 30 people could eat at once comfortable 40 if you squeezed. 

No one was in the dining room he wondered if he got the time wrong. Walking into the kitchen, he was almost overrun by a young woman in a butter yellow dress she was so tiny and fine boned she almost looked like she belonged in a Tolkien book, her voice jarred him “Coming through, heads up!!” Dodging out of the way, only to almost crash into a massive bald man with a carving knife.

He was grabbed by the back of his shirt and tugged out of the fray, spinning to see who his savior was he had to stifle a groan, it was, of course, Cullen. Standing next to him was an attractive middle aged woman with her red hair pulled up in a neat bun a few escaped tendrils floated around her face. Huge blue eyes blinked as she looked him up and down. Mostly up, if she was even 5 feet that was with thick shoes on, the two men dwarfed her both standing over 6 feet and change each. 

Wiping her hands on her apron she held out a hand to him “Myazda Tesca, but everyone just calls me Mya or Ma.” Taking her hand and shaking it he introduced himself. She was grinning at him when she winked at Cullen smiling mischievously “Cullen tells me you like Dinner a lot, so I hope you brought your appetite if there are things you won't or can't eat let me know.” 

Zane nodded, once again wishing the floor would open wide. “That's very kind of you.” Cullen snorted behind her and she grinned up at Zane “oh I didn't say I wouldn't make it, just lets me know who won't be eating that day.” She winked at him and chuckled shooing them out of the pantry, “OK boys get in the flow and grab a platter, we all work for our food Zane just follow Cullen and you won't get trampled.”

Zane snatched a heavy platter of meat, a jug of milk was thrust at him as he followed Cullen out into the now bustling dining room. Ma stood there like a General pointing out what needed to go where and what table needed something more. Like a well-oiled machine, they all settled in Cullen dragged him to the table with Ma and Max. 

Max stood and nodded to everyone “I will make this quick so Ma doesn’t skin me for making her dinner cold. We have a new horse master, he's a long time friend and fellow soldier, Zane Clifton.” 

Zane waved not sure if he should say anything when Max continued. “So how about after dinner when we're helping with clean up we all introduce ourselves to him and make him feel welcome. Does anyone have anything they would like to add?” 

A well-dressed man with dark hair, and an incredible mustache sat across from him, his elegant hands threaded together elbows on the table as he made eye contact with Zane. “Maxwell we shouldn't keep the poor boy waiting, after all, I hear dinner is an important meal.” Zane actually groaned and Cullen bumped his shoulder with his grinning. The well-dressed man reached across the table “Dorian, Dorian Pavus, glad to meet you, you and I should chat, say tomorrow after breakfast my office?” Zane knew who Dorian was, and just nodded as he passed the greens “I will be there.”

Dinner was amazing, Ma kept trying to heap more on his plate, finally, he had to beg for mercy after his 3rd slice of pie. She waved a finger at him as he helped clear the table, “you ever go hungry at my table boy and it’s your own fault.” He held up his hands in protest “I swear to you, I am stuffed.” It seemed like an endless parade of people introducing themselves to him, touching him shaking his hand. Finally, when he thought they were all done, and he couldn't handle it anymore he disappeared into the kitchen. 

The giant bald man he had run into earlier was in there washing up dishes. Silently Zane stood next to him and dried, they did this for a good twenty minutes before the man spoke “Names Sig, Not that it matters much,” Zane offered him a hand Sig looked at him like he was daft and held up his huge suds covered hands before plunging them back into the steaming water. They kept on in silence through the plates and into the pots. Working on a tough spot, not really directed at any one Sig’s voice broke the silence as if he read Zane’s mind “sometimes, sometimes a man just needs quiet.”

Falling into bed for the night, it was the first time in forever he was full, comfortable, and safe, he also wasn't surrounded by the sounds of 500 other men and their nocturnal activities. That was part of the problem, though, It was quiet, too quiet. Turning the  
TV on for noise, he fell asleep with some Japanese game show. 

 

When his alarm went off it scared the shit out of him, first because he didn't know he had an alarm and secondly because it was a goddamn cell phone, and he had no idea how to turn it off. He was standing in his apartment yelling at the phone “I swiped right you piece of shit!!! Turn off God DAMN IT!” the banging on his door had him swinging it open not even looking at who stood there. Cullen stepped in plucked the phone from his hand, disabling the alarm in seconds turned around and walked out closing the door behind him. It took Zane a minute to register what just happened, and then realize all of that had happened while he was naked.

 

Dressed for the day he grabbed his keys and the hated phone shoving them in a pocket. He felt scattered, normally he would have been up hour ago and had, at least, two cups of coffee, today he was going rogue. Quickly he fed everyone making sure to give Maple a scratch and promising her later he would take her out for a walk. Cullen had already fed half the barn, tomorrow Zane vowed he would be on his game. 

 

Walking into the main house, he almost wept with glee when the smell of real bacon and coffee hit him. Following the routine of dinner last night, he helped bring out the food. There were only 10 of them at the table when he looked around confused Ma explained. “Breakfast is a quiet affair, only those of us who live here are normally here for breakfast. But because the ranch needs tending till after the dinner hour we feed everyone then.” 

 

Dorian chose to make his entrance at that point, dressed in black slacks and a blue dress shirt with french cuffs, Ma handed him his bagel and coffee. He kissed her cheek, “you spoil me! And I love you for it.” Zane was pretty sure he heard Sig growl but he wasn't positive and he seemed to be the only one. 

 

Dorian waved his coffee spoon at him, “don't forget our date, Zane.” Grinning playfully “Oh Dorian how could anyone forget a date with you?” The man's eyebrow quirked up as he bit into his bagel, “indeed.”

 

Max asked him to stop by the office with his contract after Dorian. 

 

The session with Dorian was probably supposed to go much differently than it did but unfortunately, his phone decided to go into some panic mode when Dorian asked him to turn it to silence. So for 50 minutes it was a crash course in smart phones, making Zane feel like his phone was smarter than him. Dorian knew his past, it was both a relief and an embarrassment to have someone know what happened, Dorian assured him that unless he told them, no one else would know. 

 

From the moment he knew he was going to be getting a regular paycheck he knew what he wanted to do with part of it, walking into Max’s office with the contract he laid out his plan. Max’s pay was very generous, even with deducting food and lodging, Zane wanted half his pay to go to the family of the man he hurt anonymously, Max assured him he would take care of it.

 

Zane quickly fell into a routine around Skyhold, all the names he was sure he would never remember it took him a few days, but at the end of the first week, he knew most of them. Cullen was hanging around the barn in the day when he wasn't busy the two men were more comfortable around each other, sharing stories. 

 

Maple would hide in her stall whenever Cullen came by, but true to his work Zane would open her door whenever he was in the barn, so she would wander around behind him like a dog. She liked to stand and watch him work. The darnedest thing though if he took off his shirt while he was working she would steal it every time, he lost 4 to her before he figured out what was happening. 

 

He had been there a month and was finally starting to not feel like it was a dream, other than his parole officer and sessions with Dorian he was a free man, there was something plaguing him, something he needed to do. 

 

The sun was barely peeking up, Zane’s door was open as he got dressed, he knew Cullen would be along for his morning fix. Zane had spent a serious chunk of his first paycheck on a very impressive coffee system and burr grinder. After researching local roasters, Zane finally found one Ironically it was really close to Skyhold, a place called Redcliff Roasters with something that almost looked added on saying and Broodies Cafe. 

 

The establishment was very eclectic mismatched tables and chairs everywhere, huge worn leather chairs in nooks and corners with shelves of well-loved books. An entire section was devoted to the famous author Varric Tethras, hey didn't he have a TV series coming out on HBO soon? 

It was quiet when Zane walked in, a few people milling about the man behind the counter gave Zane the same once-over he gave him. Reading the name tag that was attached to his apron his name was Fenris, he was tall thin but well built, he looked like a man who could take care of himself. Impressive tattoos covered his arms, what he could see of his neck and throat, where the tattoos ended the scars began, his shaggy white hair was both shocking on one so young and striking. His voice was low and raspy almost like too much whiskey and cigarettes, Zane found it kinda sexy, course the scowl that went along with it was kind of unnerving thinking to himself I guess we know who broody is. 

 

Zane stared at the menu it was pretty basic finally he asked for a large Americano and whatever the sandwich special of the day was. Fenris shook his head “we don't have sandwiches.” Zane pointed to the menu board “but it says right there ask me what our sandwich special is today, and how can you have a sign that says Cafe if you have no food?” Fenris just shook his head again “I don't have any damn sandwiches.” Zane held up his hands “alright, alright Jesus, just the coffee then.”

He tried to make small talk as the man made his order, it was like talking to a rock. Finally, when the cup was placed in front of him, after the first sip Zane’s embarrassing porn star moan that had Fenris’s eyebrows arching Zane was hooked, he ordered 3 lbs of beans and stopped in every time he passed. 

 

Fenris seemed like the only employee, and he was always as social as the first time. Zane began having conversations with the man, Fenris would never answer so Zane would answer for him as the man made his coffee “So Fenris wonderful morning we are having? Do you think we will get the early snow they keep calling for.” Dropping his voice down, trying to impersonate the barista “Well Zane I don't know, it seems like they say a lot of things like that, and it never happens, kind of like me having a Cafe and yet no food. You have a wonderful day Zane and stay warm I will see you tomorrow” Clearing his throat “Why Yes Fenris I will, and you too, thank you for the wonderful coffee.” Zane didn't know if he did it to piss the man off or just to get a reaction, but every day when he placed his order he asked Fenris what the sandwich special was.

This went on for weeks before Fenris barely said anything other than a grunt, holding onto Zane’s cup so the man couldn't just end his one-sided conversation and go, Fenris looked at him and asked “Tell me Zane, do you speak for your own amusement, or does silence between us truly disturb you?” With that, he let the cup go and Zane was the one speechless this time as he left. 

 

He, Cullen, and Maple had a routine she got an apple, Cullen and Zane had coffee. 

Zane’s goal was to turn Cullen into as much of a coffee snob as he was, so far it was working the man would show up for his morning boost, and casual chat before they started the day. Zane was amazed at how easily it was to fall into a routine with the man, The two walked the property every morning “inspecting fences” sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn't, usually with a Maple trailing behind them. The calico barn cat poorly named Fred had kittens a week prior so Zane against Cullen’s better judgment, gave the momma and her 3 little ones a bed in his apartment. Now he was pretty sure they weren't leaving, muttering to himself about a single gay man with four cats, that wasn't a cliche, right?

Slowly Zane started to open up to Cullen, once the floodgates were open, he couldn't seem to close them even sharing the parts about Anders. The day he told Cullen he was gay was nerve wracking, it happened over a late evening chess game. Zane was sure he had ruined everything, but when the beautiful man was beating on his door the next morning pushing past Zane headed to the coffee, he knew that was Cullen’s way of accepting it and moving on. 

 

Cullen told him about being a POW when he was in the British special forces, the torture broke Zane’s heart all he wanted to do was hug the man, but he knew the last thing Cullen wanted was his pity. 

 

It was finally Cullen he asked to go with him to the hospital to see Jason Gibbons, the man he had beaten. The drive to the nursing home was torture all he wanted to do was throw up, Cullen sat with him in the parking lot for 45 minutes in silence until Zane just got out and started walking to the door. 

The room was the fake hospital cheery, drawing were on the walls done by some child named Carissa, there was a plant in the window. In the center of it all stood the hospital bed, with a very frail looking man hooked up to a respirator monitors and various other monotonous beeping machines. Magazines, a jacket empty coffee cups and other evidence of company littered the table and chairs next to the bed. 

 

Cullen whistled “Jesus Clifton you weren't kidding!” before he could answer there was a shrill female voice he remembered from his trial, Rachel Gibbons “Zane Clifton, the man who destroyed my family what the hell are you doing here?” Turning to face the woman he had seen in the courtroom so long ago she wasn't pregnant this time, she flew at him rage boiling over as she slapped his face and pushed and pounded at him calling him every horrible name she could. Zane just stood there in his mind he deserved all her venom and more. 

 

It was Cullen, who finally put a stop to it. Grabbing her hands and shouting to Zane, “for the love of god man, leave! I know you think you are, but you're not helping at the moment.” It took a half hour but Cullen finally made it back to the truck. 

 

Zane went back 6 more times sometimes she was there, sometimes she wasn't on those occasions he just sat with Jason, talked and cried and begged for forgiveness. The seventh time he was stopped at the nurse's desk and told that the family had asked him not to come anymore. The nurse looked worried to tell him, all he could think of was she probably knows I'm a monster. All he could do was a nod and turn to leave, suddenly stopping he grabbed the nurse's arm she looked shocked and scared for a brief moment ignoring her reaction he begged her “tell them, tell her I’m sorry.”

 

That's why it was such a surprise when a month later Cullen was standing in the doorway of the barn with Rachel and a little girl. Maple stuttered a step peeking over his shoulder, Zane’s eyes were huge, looking from Rachel to Cullen and then the little girl. Stammering “what's this?” Cullen put his hand on the little girls head “Zane this here is Carissa, you are acquainted with her parents. Carissa’s therapist thinks that Skyhold would be a good match for her she has Autism and we can do... Maple What are you doing!? Zane, what is Maple doing?”

The entire time Cullen was talking about Carissa, Maple was sniffing her, finally tugging on her backpack trying to pull her away from the adults. 

Zane held up a hand “Shhh, maple won't hurt her, just let's see what they do?” 

Maple tugged her to her stall where the basket of kittens was during the day, Carissa sat down and was covered in 3 tiny calicoes all vying for attention the adults stood there and watched as the little girl carefully petted and talked to the kittens under the watchful eye of Maple. Looking at Rachel, Zane asked "are you OK with this, I mean with her being around me?” wringing her hands she looked up at Cullen then Zane then back to Carissa. Nodding finally “Cullen says you, you want to help us... are helping us so as long as you're clean and sober yes.” Zane held his hand out to her “I haven't touched a drop or a pill since that night, I swear to you, she will be safe here.”

 

Dorian was making his way over to the group “Ahh Rachel I see you made it, wonderful, and Carissa has met Maple and Zane’s kittens, although I'm not sure who they belong to more yesterday Maple took them for a walk in a bucket.” Zane nodded at Dorian “This here is who will be working with Carissa.” Dorian shook his head interrupting the man “no my beautiful man, it will be you, she doesn't need counseling she's just fine in that respect. What she needs a friend, she needs a strong father figure to slay her dragons and monsters, she needs someone to show her how to dance on toes and believe that dandelion fluff carries wishes, she needs you.” 

 

Staring at the little girl on the floor he was quiet for a long time, a million thoughts rolling through his head. Finally, he nodded “OK,” scratching Maple’s ears he looked at the house a silent understanding between them. 

 

Dorian gave him some reading to do, but after the first week with Carissa, Zane took that further and started searching sights for activities, he stumbled on Pinterest ropping Cullen into helping him do a project for her for the next day, four hours and way too much glitter for two grown men later it was done, he had three sets of sparkle fairy wings of varying sizes, and three capes. He also had Cullen help him place an order earlier in the week for a weighted blanket. 

The next morning when Rachel and Carissa showed up, she was greeted with Zane and Maple at the front gate wearing fairy wings holding out her very own pair, the shrieks and squeals were heard through all of Skyhold. Max couldn't help grinning over his coffee on the front porch, Ma muttered something about some dust in her eye wiping her face on her apron as she headed back to the kitchen. 

Not every day was perfect, there were times Carissa was overstimulated, or just having a bad day those times he would scoop up the hysterical child fighting him tooth and nail singing to her as he wrapped her in the weighted blanket. Some days he just held her and sang, others he would put her in Maples stall, usually with a cat or three. There was a string she could pull to get out when she was ready, some days it was 10 minutes other days it was 4 hours with a nap. 

 

Carissa came three times a week, Zane always had plans for them, She didn't talk much but. She always had a smile for him. They went on Picnics and caught bugs, every day he tried to teach her something he was amassing books on science experiments and plants. She was wonderful with Maple, brushing her till her mane and tail shone. Rachel was slowly forgiving the man who had destroyed her life, watching him with her daughter she was finally letting go of the anger, and Zane was starting to let go of the guilt. He still hated his cell phone and she knew it would never be answered, but whenever she needed to get a hold of him for something she would text and he would always say yes from fixing her sink to helping her paint Carissa’s room. 

 

Cullen and Zane had become inseparable, Zane was starting to have some not so pure thoughts about his best friend again, so much so that he thought he was catching signals from the man that maybe it wasn't so one-sided. They were climbing their first Colorado  
fourteener that weekend, even though it was late in the fall it would probably be the last chance that season before the snow both the men were stoked. It was a long trek to the top, Zane thought it would be a good time to talk maybe test the waters.

 

Cullen seemed a little distracted, Zane finally figured out why. It came out in one convoluted rush of stutters and neck rubbing which always meant Cullen had way over thought something. The men climbed the last few feet to the top Cullen told Zane about Alejandra. No, told isn't really the correct word the Man gushed about her. Zane tried to hide his disappointment, and be there for his friend but it was hard when for the last three nights he had talked himself into thinking there was more. He was happy for Cullen truly but, when would he find his happy ever after?

 

It was actually Sig and Ma that sat on the front porch one night days before her arrival that told Zane all about Alejandra Rossi. 

 

The smile in Ma’s voice was clear even in the dim light as she spoke of the girl “ Well Alejandra, or Ali, as we all call her, is Maxie's older sister's only child.” 

 

Zane snorted at the thought of anyone calling his Commander Maxie, Ma ignored the interruption and continued. “Her parents Guillermo and Evelyn Rossi died in a car accident, oh must have been about five years ago now, lord I can remember that night like it was yesterday the police lights and banging on the door. That night changed everything Max went from helping out around Skyhold to actually running it, and he became Ali’s guardian at the time she was 17 so he had his hands full, thankfully she's a good girl so it wasn't so bad.” 

She patted Sig’s knee “Oh Pa do you remember Max dealing with her prom date, Maker I thought all of Skyhold was going to be standing in that front room when he showed up.” Sig just grunted but smiled at the memory nodding. Shaking her head picking up her knitting again smiling at the memories “Now that girl is on the dean's list and is in university, she just got her BA in business and now is applying to Vet schools, we might get her home for a few months, Oh Zane you are going to love her.” Zane could almost hear the setup from here, laughing he shook his head “Oh Ma, I don't think a 22/ 23-year-old is going to be interested in a 40-year-old ex-con ranch hand.” she made an exasperated sound, “you sell yourself short, far too often Zane, you are a good man with allot to offer a girl just you wait she's out there.” 

 

Laughing shaking his head when Sig muttered “for mercy sake woman leave the boy alone!” She wagged her finger at her husband “you just watch it mister, or there will be no funny business for you tonight.” Zane clapped his hands “And on that note I am out!” kissing Ma’s cheek nodding at Sig as he bounded down the stairs leaving the two, to bicker lovingly at each other. 

 

Zane needed a few things at the mall, and because he couldn't go anywhere without Cullen, the two of them were heading out after breakfast. They stopped at Redcliff for a coffee for the road as the two men were standing there Cullen tried to make joke “So Dorian was teasing us about being old ladies and having to go to the bathroom together, I told him you were my Hetero Life partner.” Cullen had to beat Zane on the back because he was choking on his coffee, gasping for breath as he wiped his mouth with his napkin, Zane looked at Cullen blurting out “you do know I'm Gay right?”

 

Cullen turned bright red and stammered rubbing his neck, “yes well. I know… oh for Christ sake let's get going.” Fenris just smirked at the two of them as they left, being spared for once Zane’s one-sided conversation.

 

Cullen was still flustered when they pulled into the mall parking lot, it had taken forever to find a spot and the lot was bustling with people. Cullen tried to apologize Zane just laughed “Dude, it's more than OK” both of them standing outside the truck Zane patted his pocket and called over the roof to Cullen “hey man can you grab my wallet, it's in the glove box?” Cullen shouted over the noise of a very loud muffler that seemed to stop just as he was screaming the words “YOU KEEP YOUR WALLET IN THE GLOVE BOX?” it was loud enough people were turning to look, Zane just shook his head and shouted back at him in the same volume “NOT ANYMORE!”

 

Alejandra took Skyhold by storm, Zane wasn't there the night she arrived, Rachel had called in a panic that Jason was spiking a fever at the hospital and she needed someone to stay with Carissa. It was close to 1 am before he fell into his own bed, cursing the alarm that went off four hours later.

 

He was still pulling his shirt over his head when he ran smack into her in the barn she was standing just outside his door canoodling Maple. He grabbed her waist to keep her from toppling over and, of course, it was that moment that Cullen walked in just as Zane was pawing at her, trying to keep Ali off her ass, on the ground. The two men locked eyes for a brief moment and Zane was sure he saw a flash of rage behind his friend's gaze. 

 

Ali called out to him “Cullen, good morning I came for the coffee you were raving about last night but didn't want to bang on his door considering we’ve never met." Holding her hand out to Zane “Alejandra Rossi, but you can call me Ali, sorry about a moment ago I was in my own world and didn't hear you come out, thank you for saving me from the floor.” It was like she knew what she needed to say to smooth over Cullen's ruffled feathers. 

 

The change in his friend was odd, it was like this whole other person emerged every time Ali was around, Zane liked Ali, she was funny, light  
hearted, a hard worker and a pleasure to talk to. He could easily understand his friends infatuation with her. However, it was like every time Cullen was around her he stopped being Cullen, after a couple weeks of watching Ali chase Cullen and Cullen running away making excuses yet growling at anyone who showed any interest in her. More than once he had to remind his friend he was, in fact, gay and old enough to be her dad. 

 

The weather had turned, the snow had dumped in the foothills, they had gotten 3 feet in the last week and a half everyone was feeling a little stir crazy only the staff that lived there was on-site everyone else was sent home till the roads cleared. Zane had made sure that Ali’s jeep had chains on so if she needed to get anywhere she was good, the forecast was for a blizzard but the sky was blue and warm today the grater had finally cleared the roads and with the bobcat Cullen had cleared the bridge. 

 

It was obvious to anyone with eyes that Ali liked Cullen allot, Cullen was over the moon for this girl. He told Alex about their first kiss last summer during morning coffee, pointing to a stall along the wall that was empty “I was in there washing it down, we had gone for a long walk chatting about stuff, she told me she liked me, I told her I was too old for her she should date the guys in college. Basically, I pissed her off and she stormed off. I had my back to her, and next thing I knew she had me shoved against the wall and her hands were pulling my face down for a kiss, I was so shocked that when she stopped kissing and ran away I didn't follow.” banging his head on the stall door in frustration “Why didn't I follow?” 

 

Walking out his door he almost ran into her again his little dark haired pixie, hugging her against his hip as he kissed the top of her head “Good morning my Ali bear, coffee?” she took his and giggled when he protested her bright green eyes dancing with defiance and victory. Following him into his apartment she was looking around at how spartan the surroundings where he had been here almost a year and he still really hadn't made it his own other than some drawing Carissa had made him. She was looking out his bank of windows speaking over her shoulder to him as Cullen came in the room “So old man you're turning 41 here in a couple days I know Ma has your cake order, nice choice by the way. But what do you want for your birthday other than a personality, because seriously this room has none.” Laughing at her he shrugged “I don't know make me something to give it personality.” Pointing over to his fairy wings “and see I have stuff!!”

Cullen was acting moody and petulant for the last week, topping that off with the bravado he seemed to display every time he was within twelve feet of her. It was Zane’s birthday which he hated already, so his mood was shit to start with. Topped that with his best friend being a dick, he was done, he had, had enough of what the fuck ever was Cullen’s problem. 

Tossing his gloves on the bench he walked over to where Cullen was ranting about something. Zane knocked on the wall to get his attention when he had it he let him have it “What the hell man? You have it bad for a girl so you have to treat everyone around you like an asshole? Who is this person that showed up two months ago,cuz he’s a dick? And I want my fucking friend back!” 

Zane heard a gasp as something clattered to the ground both men turning to see Ali standing there her green eyes full of pain and her hand covering her mouth as she stammered though an apology trying to pick up the object but cutting her finger on a piece of broken glass the tears that were threatening start to flow and she curses turning and fleeing before either of them can reach her. Calling after her Zane looked down at the broken frame she had made for him in it was a photo Sig had taken a few nights again of all of them even Maple had  
snuck in. Around the frame was the words “Blood doesn't make family, love does.” The glass was broken but he took the frame back to his room leaving Cullen to follow her.

She was quiet at dinner, pushing her food around on her plate. Both Max and Ma asked her a couple times if she was feeling OK, she simply nodded saying she was just tired. How could she tell them that her heart was breaking, how could she say that she was sorry for coming between two best friends, they both had been through hell and back. They needed each other, she was just a girl, a girl that was tearing them apart. She couldn't do that to them she wouldn't be responsible for Zane losing his best friend. She excused herself after cake mumbling something about a headache, Cullen promised to look in on her before he turned in, she shook her head “Don't please, I will be asleep but thank you.” forcing a smile she wished Zane a happy birthday and then left.

 

For three days she avoided them both, she knew their routine well enough she knew when Zane would be out of the Barn and Cullen would be on a trail. She wasn't counting on the weather making Cullen return early. 

He cornered her, she made herself be cruel, she told him everything he said was true he was too old for her, and she needed to find someone her own age, she lied to his face when she said she didn't have feelings for him anymore. But she knew deep down if she told him the truth she was doing this for him and Zane, he would talk her out of it. The pain in his amber eyes almost broke her she wanted to throw herself at his feet and beg him to forgive her for lying to him to take her back. She watched as he walked away, she hoped he would find Zane and the two of them could work it all out.

Crawling into the stall, next to her beloved animal friend she hugged Maple and let all the tears and frustration flow. Because the weather was crap Zane wouldn't let the horse just wander for fear she would slip. Maple rested her head on Ali’s shoulder and let the poor girl cry herself to sleep. 

Slowly her eyes flutter open she can feel someone shaking her softly calling her name. Bolting upright in the straw quickly she tried to wipe her eyes but her puffy cheeks and nose give it away.

Zane sat with his back against the wall “So Alejandra, want to tell me what’s really going on, I just left Cullen and he's a bit of a mess?”

She didn't mean to, but the words just start and like a freight train won't stop. “I've ruined everything with you and Cullen, and you need him more than I do, even though I think I might love him. You both need each other and I won't be the cause. So he's yours you win! I won't bother him anymore.”

Shaking his head, Zane let out a sad chuckle “It doesn't work that way sweetheart, for one Cullen, isn't gay, and two he's in love with you.”

He was pulling straw from her hair as she vehemently denied it “No, he, I fixed it I told him we would never be together, things can go back to normal now like before I came home.”

Shaking his head, Zane felt so bad for the young woman “I'm afraid sweetie that horse has left the barn, you need to go talk to him tell him how you really feel. I’m a big boy, I will be just fine, won't I Maple?” the horse whinnied making her smile. 

Helping her to her feet, Zane pulled her into his arms hugging her, he watched as she walked to the main house in the blowing snow, thinking to himself there is a big storm coming, you could see where it was already pounding the mountains.

She stood in front of Cullen’s door her hand posed to knock, she couldn't do it. She couldn't make herself do it, running down the hall to her room she shoved some stuff in her bag pulling on a warm coat and boots she ran to her jeep maybe if she just got away for a couple days they would figure it all out. The snow was coming down pretty heavy but that was normal for this time of year, she had seen worse, she should be able to make it to Max’s hunting cabin in a couple hours. Deciding she would call him from there, that way he doesn't worry but can't make her stay either. 

The snow gets thicker and deeper it’s hard to tell where the road is and where the ditch is, her chains squeaking in the snow as she creeps her way up in 4wd, about half way there she realizes this is not going to work she's pretty sure there is a spot ahead she can turn around in slowly she makes her way and begins the arduous task of turning in all the snow. She can hear the engine revving under the demand to turn and move forward. It happened so fast a huge buck leaped across the road inches from her bumper, screaming her hands flail to her face and she accidentally stomps on the gas. Her car is careening down the embankment rolling over and over, she's being thrown around in her seat airbags beating her body as the seat belt tightens, her last thought is why is there no gravity? Before she passes out.

Max and Cullen were screaming at each other in the kitchen, Max’s booming voice overpowers Cullen’s “What the fuck do you mean you don't know where she is? Her car is gone, she hasn't been seen in hour she's not answering her phone. I saw you two fighting earlier what the hell did you say to make her leave?” Max’s hands were tugging at his hair he was frantic with worry “God damn it, I won't lose any more family, this is just like her parents all over again I begged Gill not to take my sister out in this kind of weather but he didn't fucking listen either.” 

The two men go back and forth blaming each other for her disappearance Zane finally steps in “Gentleman this isn't helping, think, where would she go? Friends, other family?" Interrupting their chaos Sig steps out of the office “We got a problem boss, the keys to the cabin are gone, the state patrol just closed all the roads headed in that direction.”

 

All she wanted to do was sleep, well that's not entirely true she wanted to vomit then sleep but she knew she had to get out of the jeep. Sending up a thank you to her uncle who had insisted on something with a roll bar, which was the only reason she was hurt and not dead. Grasping blindly at her door pocket, fingers curling around them, another silent thank you to Uncle Max for the seat belt cutter there was a window smasher in there too if she needed it. 

Releasing herself from the seat hurt a hell of allot more than she had anticipated, the pain surged through her making her pass out, she didn't know for how long, but she knew she couldn't see out all her windows anymore, crawling through her car to the back cargo door she started to cry, frustrated tears when it wouldn't budge. Rage filled her, she began screaming and kicking the hell out of the door, finally, the latch popped and it begrudgingly swung open moving the snow out of its path. Sitting there, trying to catch her breath deciding what to do, her phone was smashed in the rollover, looking up the embankment she's amazed that she's alive. If it hadn't had this much snow, it would be jagged rocks and sheer cliff. 

Assessing the damage her head is bleeding she can feel it, her arm might be broken or, at least, sprained she can definitely feel that. Trying to take a full breath, nothing was broken just bruised. Grabbing the safety kit from the back, once again thank you, Uncle Max. She put the first road flair on top of her car it may set the fucker on fire, but at this point, someone would see the blast. She had six more and a flair gun. 

Making the climb up the embankment was hard, and hurt, but she made it. Setting her second flair where she went off the road. Slowly she walked, well stumbled like she was drunk in the heavy snow, down the mountain towards Skyhold. 

The trees were thick and it was so cold, she just needed to stop for a minute. Her head didn't hurt so much anymore, reaching up to adjust her knit cap her fingers came away wet and sticky with blood sitting down in the snow she lit another flair pulling her cap off digging around for a bandage her fingers closing around it, but her eyes were so heavy making her arm heavy. Right here was nice, she felt warm, leaning over she could feel the fluffy cotton of the snow on her cheek, snuggling down here she was warm, just a couple minutes wouldn't hurt, right then she would go wait, where was she going again? 

 

There was tugging, there was tugging and pain, why was there pain? She was talking to her momma and papa, there should be no pain. Then she heard his voice, the voice of her angel, Cold so cold why was she cold now? She could smell Cullen, he always smelled so good, like spice and wood, burying her face further into the smell she passed out again. 

Cullen had found her in the snow, when he saw her he was sure she was dead. The only way for him to get up here was by horse, and it was easier to keep going up the three miles to the cabin then it would be to crawl the 9 down the mountain. She was frozen, the first thing he did was build the biggest fire he could, stripping her of all her wet clothing, Maker even as badly hurt as she was, maker she was still magnificent. 

He dressed her wounds, feeling her limbs nothing seemed broken, wrapping her in dry warm blankets as many as he could fine, he put her naked in the bed. Running back outside, he made sure his horse was secure and warm. Closing up the windows and door to keep the heat in, it was already too hot for him in the small one room. Searching the shelf he found it, praying it had a charge, the Sat phone blinked to life as he turned it on. 

 

He could hear the relief in the Max’s voice as he told him he had her, and she was safe, He promised to call in the morning and Max said as soon as the road was open he would come get them. 

Pulling the bed next to the fire he stripped his clothing off and crawled in next to Ali, her breathing was already better. Wrapping his arms around her, through their skin on skin he could feel the chill in her flesh, a shiver ran through him as he realized just how close he had come to losing her forever. 

 

Mmm she felt warm, she hurt but she felt warm. Slowly her eyes fluttered open her face was pressed into something smooth and hard, moving she realized she was laying on top of something, make that someone. Lifting her head she stilled it was him, he came for her, a tear slipped out and then another. He had saved her, Cullen had come and saved her, even after she had been such a bitch to him. Laying her head back down on his chest she could hear his steady rhythmic heart beat when she moved his arms tightened around her, softly slowly she started kissing his chest, with shaking fingers she was caressing the smooth fine hair that covered him. 

She could feel his body responding to her touch before he was fully awake. She knew what she wanted she just hoped he wanted it too, blinking awake his arms instinctively tightened around her when he saw her green one looking back, they were clear and rimmed with tears. Rolling them so she was on her back he searched her face, brushing her chestnut brown hair back from her face. “My love, tell me what hurts, Maker it’s amazing to see your eyes open.”

She couldn't hold back the sobs anymore they came out in great sputtering gasps the ugly tears every woman hates he pulled her against him. Rocking her as she clung to him sobbing, shaking her head the blubbered “I didn't mean it, I love you, Zane can't have you I need you too much.” 

Holding his face she captured his lips pressing herself against him, his fingers fluttered over her skin the moan that tore from her throat had Cullen pressing her back into the bed, his eyes searched hers for any sign she didn't want this. Her finger caressed his scar when her tongue followed and he shivered she could feel his cock pulsing against her leg she knew he would do nothing if she didn't push a little. Leaning up catching his earlobe between her teeth she hissed “I need you inside me.” His head dropped to her shoulder, she could feel his grin first, then his lips slowly he worked his way down her body lips tasting touching. She could feel her body respond to him, when his tongue touched her core she thought nothing could feel better, he showed her how wrong she was over and over. Joining his body with hers, they both cried out at the sensations, emotions rolling through them both as they gave each other part of themselves. 

Finally, sated for the time, Cullen held her tight to his chest as she slept, he couldn't believe she was here with him. Arms tightening as the realization of what could have happened made him shudder. 

It took four days for the roads to be clear. Every day Max talked to them and they assured him they were fine he had the cabin stocked with food to last them a month and Cullen had been able to fire up the generator so they had power and hot water at least. What Max didn't need to know is, they hadn't worn clothes since they got there. 

Cullen was becoming the master of slipping into her from behind pressing her against the wall, thrusting in over the table. They were both a little Sad when Max called to say he was on the way. She surprised him when she pushed him back on the bed using a scarf to pin his hands above them and slowly let herself slid down his shaft. Cullen couldn't help but thrust up into her hard. not being able to touch her as his cock disappeared into her was sweet torture. Her nails raked down his chest and he hissed in need, her hips grinding against his muscles milking him. Amber eyes smoldered up at her, as she rode him in long slow strokes. Drunk on her power she brought him to the edge over and over denying him release finally snapping the wood she had tied him too he flipped her onto her back and took her hard, their orgasm rattled the windows. Clinging to her body trying to catch his breath all he could think of was having her again. 

 

Zane was in the barn with his charges his warm baritone voice filling the building as he sang to them at the moment it was “I can’t help falling in love with you.” Quickly stopping coughing into his hand when he noticed her in the doorway “Ali, I see you and Cullen made it home safe, you know the next time you two want to go on a romantic vacation together just say so. I'm sure Max would have given Cullen the time off.” Laughing, she hugged him tight. Zane stepped back for a moment looking at her “seriously, though, are you OK ?” nodding, “I'm just banged up” he nodded grinning “so did you give up the notion that you needed to save us?” She blushed right to her toes making Zane laugh “Cullen you dirty dog you!” he hugged her tight “You make him happy, and knowing he's happy, makes me happy.” 

There was a huge celebration in the main house that night, everyone was toasting the return of the new couple. The alcohol flowed, and the love was so thick in the air Zane was almost choking on it. Nodding to Cullen and Max as he slipped out they both understood. 

Rachel had texted him in the day that she needed to talk after Carissa went to bed, and he promised he would stop by. 

He knew this conversation was coming, he knew she was internally at war with the idea of shutting the machines off, he couldn't tell her what to do. Hell, he didn't even feel he had the right to an opinion. They talked a little about what the Doctors had said, Swirling the wine around in her glass her eyes focused on the sloshing liquid “the first few months I prayed every day that he would come around. That his eyes would pop open and we would be a family again. Then when Carissa was born and I couldn't make it to the hospital for almost six months I felt so guilty. Until I walked through the door to his room and realized that six months had passed, my entire life had changed and yet here was my husband my partner who was the same no change, Zane the fucking house plant in his room was thriving more than he was!” She took a long drink from her glass, putting it back on the table with a clink “it's been almost 10 years since it happened Zane, I think maybe it's time to set him free. Can I ask you something? It’s something that I have wondered about this past year that I've gotten to know you. Before I just assumed you were some animal and didn't care, but now, Zane why? Why did you do it?” 

For an hour, Zane talked, he sat there and told her every dirty detail of his life about being gay, about losing Anders about his addiction the fight with Max that night. He held his head in his hands as he spoke the last part “the thing that set me off, I heard Jason mocking some twenty-something gay couple he called them “a couple of fucking faggots,” I only intended to make him apologize but, well you know the rest.” she nodded refilling her glass “that I do.” 

Not ready to go home, Zane found himself at his favorite coffee shop with the customer service of the year award winner, Fenris, which was just fine because tonight he wasn't really in the mood for talking. 

Fenris sat down at the table with him, his own cup in hand, for the longest time neither said a word. Then Fenris just started talking “So, I have no idea who my parents are? I was bounced from foster family to foster family until I ran away at 15. My need to belong was so great that it didn't matter with whom, So, I, of course, fell in with the wrong people. They were heavily into the drug trade and I was hired muscle willing to do whatever they wanted for my next fix. I broke legs and other stuff when they asked me too, I fucked whomever they told me to men, women it didn't matter. I was their slave, they owned me because of the heroin.”

Nodding to the wall that held Varric Tethras’s collection. “It wasn't until I met Varric in a shitty bar in an even shittier town that he helped me get my life back. He fronted me the money for this place, after I finished rehab, and showed him I could do this on my own. He gave me the keys outright and said make me proud broody.” Reaching to the table behind him Fenris shoved a plate in front of Zane. 

Zane blinked, looking at Fenris then back at the plate, on it was a perfect Tuna on rye he had ever seen, even had a pickle spear on the side. 

For the second time that night Zane found himself telling someone his life story, in the end, Fenris took half his sandwich and ate it, Zane couldn't hold back the moan at the flavor when he bit into his half. They talked for hours about life, books, movies Coffee. Fenris even offered to show him how to use the fancy coffee machine he paid so much for some time. Nodding Zane smiled “I’d like that.”

Realizing the time Zane cursed “Fuck it’s 3 am, I, I’m so sorry I kept you this long. I should get back to Skyhold. How much do I owe you for the sandwich?” Blinking Fenris gave him a lazy grin “how many times do I have to tell you, we don't sell sandwiches here.”

It had been three days since he saw Fenris, for some reason the man invaded his thoughts allot, it could be the gooey eyes Cullen and Ali were making at each other, or maybe, just maybe it was time to stop being alone. Making up his mind he would go see the man tonight after he was done for the day.

 

Zane was in the barn getting ready to head to his room to change when he heard a knocking on the barn door jamb. Turning he was shocked to see Fenris standing there with a couple bags of beans. Handing them to Zane he stammered a little “I uh figured you might be low.” Opening his apartment door, he invited the man in. 

 

Zane had barely put the beans on the counter when he found himself pressed into the wall hands pinned above his head, Fenris’s warm lips pressing into his. It took him a minute to register what was happening, but once he caught up he took over kissing the sexy barista back, licking his lips as he pulled back Zane grinned “mm mm you taste like coffee and spices.” 

Fenris buried his face in Zane’s neck “I needed to see you, after the other night I can't think of anything else if I'm wrong and this is just me tell me and I will go.” Zane pulled his hands free, cupping the man's face he kissed him long and slow “you're not wrong.” Fenris grabbed his hand pulling him to the bed “for a year I have listened to your stupid stories and conversations, every time I've wanted to kiss you quiet.” Shoving Zane back on his bed Fenris laid on top of him the months of banked passion quickly igniting between them. Fenris grabbed the back of his shirt with one hand and pulled it over his head throwing it on the floor Zane moved to do the same. When the man's hands were on his belt Zane put his hand over top stilling them. Stammering he couldn't believe he was about to admit to this “I uhh, I haven't been with anyone since Anders.” Fenris eased off his thumb caressing Zane’s cheek “Do you want me to stop, we don't have to until you're ready?” Shaking his head Zane pressed Fenris’s hand against his Zipper I think after almost 12 years I'm more than ready. I want you Fenris, I think I knew that first day it was meant to be you. 

Naked, the two men caressed and worshiped each other's bodies, Fenris running his tongue over Zane’s tattoos. When he couldn't handle the stimulation any longer he begged Fenris to take him, slowly he eased himself into his body. Foreheads pressed together, they gave into their bodies, the need overruling everything else, each thrust was met and returned words of love and lust fell from swollen parted lips. Long into the night each sharing themselves with the other finding passion, pleasure love and acceptance in the others arms. 

It was early in the morning Zane was leaning against the door of the barn Fenris was standing behind him with his arms around him, chin on his shoulder. Max greeted them from his front porch, Cullen and Ali were walking towards them for their morning coffee. His hands covering Fenris’s on his chest, for the first time in a long time Zane felt a sense of belonging, he was more than a servant or a hired hand, he was family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My next Challenge has been issued, and I have the pleasure of writing about Zevran


End file.
